Oh my god, Christian won Project Runway.
CHRISTIAN.
What in the flying fuck?
First off, his line in the final was just, in a word, horrendous. Most of those models couldn't even see where they were going due to the ridiculous floppy hats and 8-foot tall collars. I suppose his line fell under the guise of "couture," but as far as wearability, I'm thinking a huge no. If I ever saw someone wearing one of those jackets with those collars walking down the street, I'd probably stop, stare at them, pause, then smack them across the face with a brick. But its sheer ridiculousenss aside, it was all pretty dull to me. It was an endless parade of black and drab greenish grey, with some ruffles, feathers, structured jackets, skinny jeans, and boots. Honestly, almost everything out there could fall under at least one of those categories - how boring.
Then there was the judging. Other than the fact that Nina Garcia seems to lack any sort of taste in fashion or common sense (and is, of course, a total bitch), who was the guest judge? None other than Victoria Beckham, who Christian has said on numerous occasions is one of his style icons and specifically designs for her. Well, then, isn't it just a tad biased to have her as a guest judge, seeing as she's already stated to be a fan of his work? It seemed just a little ridiculous, not to mention horribly unfair, for Rami and Jillian when the guest judge is almost guaranteed to vote for Christian.
I know it sounds like I'm being really harsh on Christian - I suppose I am - because his style is very much not for my taste (or anyone else's taste that I know, fortunately). I have to hand it to him, though, he has some chops as a designer, particularly for someone who's 21 years old. It blows my mind that he's only a year older than me and has already won Project Runway and could sell his entire line to Posh Spice, and I'm doing...well, nothing, other than writing this blog and going to college. Christian is a little diva and can be a total snot, as well has having a serious need to start working on his people skills, particularly with his customers, but he isn't afraid to take risks and really owns his work. That much was apparent at the runway show; he loved what he made, and I respect that, even if I didn't love it.
Regardless, I thought Jillian's collection was much better (her knits were adorable!), and had expected her to win over Rami for sure. I didn't even know what to say when Rami was in the final two, as his color selection was pretty bad overall (what was he thinking when he put that absolutely gorgeous weave dress in a drab olive?!), and his line, other than his dresses, just fell completely flat. There was one particular outfit that stuck out in my head; there were these awful high-waisted magenta pants with awkward pockets that stuck out everywhere and just didn't fit the model, and this jacket...thing...that was black and white patterned and had ruffles and I don't even know what happening on it. I think I threw up in my mouth a little when I saw that go down the runway. Rami's strengths definitely lie in his gown design; sure, he drapes all the damn time, but he does a great job of it. Some of his dresses I could actually wear, and would like to wear, but the rest of his clothes...no. Just...no.
Besides...I missed Chris.
Either way, I'm shocked that Christian won, shocked at the choice of guest judge, and shocked that Jillian didn't at least get second.
Oh, and I'm shocked that magenta high-waisted pants found their way anywhere near that finale.
P.S. Here's a fun interview with the fabulous Tim Gunn from the Chicago Tribune:
http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com/entertainment_tv/2008/03/project-runways.html
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
A post of a most Harry Potter nature
What is it, exactly, about J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series that seems to have ensnared millions upon millions of readers (myself most definitely included), making them stand in line for hours to receive a $22 hard-cover copy, at midnight, of the last installment of the series (myself again included)? It's a question still being asked since the series' release all the way back in 1997.
Well, perhaps our friends over at Moist Cupcake comedy group can help us understand a little better:
Clearly, it is not just myself who harbors some sort of freakish obsession with young Harry and his Hogwarts cohorts.
So, this begs the question of why, exactly, is this series so unbelievably addicting?
Personally, I have been hooked on HP since 6th grade when the second book, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, came out. It's difficult to explain what exactly drew me to the series; perhaps it was the realism of Rowling's characters, from the endearlingly doomed Harry to the loyal Ron to the brainy Hermione...or perhaps it was the tragic love triangle that was revealed in Deathly Hallows, between Lily Evans, James Potter, and Severus Snape. Maybe it was the realism with with Rowling presented her series, making children (and not-so-young people) desperately want to visti London so they could inspect for themselves whether or not Platform 9 3/4 in King's Cross really exists, or desperately search their mail on a daily basis to discern for themselves whether or not Dumbledore was going to send them their letter to Hogwarts (because if they didn't look themselves, it was a distinct possibility that their parents hated magic and would make every attempt to throw these letters out, a Dursleyish thing to do).
Then again, perhaps the masses became enamored with the series because of the ease with which one can parody it. For example, Saturday Night Live did a fantastic Harry Potter parody, casting Hermione as an extremely busty Lindsay Lohan, as well as Robot Chicken, which had the trio fighting the monster "Pubertus" (due to copyright infringement and such, I've been unable to find both of these videos, as they've been removed from the interwebs, but I can't say I didn't try!). Perhaps the most famous parody of Harry Potter, however, would probably be the "Potter Puppet Pals." An example can be seen here:
(credit to Neil Cicierega and co. for this brilliant material)
However, I think the ultimate reason why J.K. Rowling's idea (that was created upon napkins, by the way) has infected the masses is as such:The pages are laced with crack-cocaine.
Yes, I said it - the publishers at Scholastic in the United States and Bloomsbury in the United Kingdom sprinkle each page with an ever-so-slight amount of crack. However, with insanely long works such as Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (734 pages, U.S.) and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (870 pages, U.S.) that amounts to quite a large amount of crack. Rowling, of course, planned it like such: the first few books had fewer amounts of pages, and therefore a lesser amount of crack. It was entry-level, just enough to get the reader hooked. However, once readers had gotten to the fourth and fifth books, the levels grew to a major-addict level, causing readers to wait insanely long lines and pre-order books months in advance in order to get their fix. Rowling started to taper the pages off in the sixth installment, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in order to truly build up for the last book in the series. This, of course, caused all of the strung-out crack addicts to do insane things to obtain their copies, which had a satisfactory amount of pages at 759 when it was finally released, counting that miserable hunk of words that she refers to as an "Epilogue," a.k.a. the "Nineteen Years Later" chapter. What is left to be seen is how said addicts will cope without their doses of new grams - er, books.
So, there you have it: reading the Potter books leads to crack addictions.
That is all.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Those Pesky Question-Askers
It's a situation every college student is familiar with.
You're sitting in class, minding your own business (which may or may not include listening to the professor), and a movement catches your eye. You pick your head up, turning it towards the direction of the distraction, and silently hope that it isn't...one of them. They always interrupt class, detracting from your learning experience, and just plain hurt your delicate brain with their stupidities. You probably then audibly sigh, expressing your frustration to your colleagues, because what you witnessed is exactly what you feared:
Someone has their hand up.
They’re there in every class. You know the ones – they can’t seem to keep their mouth shut during lecture because they’re just bursting at the seams with intellectual ideas that must go forth so that their wisdom can enhance the lecture. One notices as well that they seem to know everything there is to know about the subject…or at least they think they do. They seem to convince themselves that everything they have to say is useful, when really, they talk because they either a.) like the sound of their own voice, b.) like to feel smart but really are not and their questions compensate for that, or c.) all of the above. It is perhaps the worst part of any lecture. They ask inane questions or raise their hands to make “observations”, neither of which have anything really to do with what the professor is saying, and the other students start bursting at the seams to allow their thoughts to go forth: “Shut up, for the love of God! Nobody cares!” And the smaller the lecture, the worse they are, because there is honestly no way to escape them. At least in the large lectures one can sleep, put on their headphones, or do one of those convenient Sudoku puzzles provided by The Daily Cardinal or The Badger Herald unnoticed. But in a small lecture or discussion of say, thirty people, it’s a difficult feat to melt into a crowd that isn’t there in order to drown out the infernal questions and speculations without a professor noticing.
What’s to be done about them, a good student who keeps their mouth shut would wonder? Well, there’s always the direct approach of throwing something heavy at them, like a brick or an overpriced textbook, but that has the potential to end badly, such as jail time or replacing textbooks (which is worse is yet to be determined). So, unless you’re willing to brave your college town’s jail cells or fork over another $200 for a book you’re never going to open, I would not personally recommend this option. A second option is the more indirect approach of shouting at said person, insulting them and reducing them to a smoldering pile of ash from the heat of your scathing remarks, but professors tend not to like that so much either, even if it relieves them from their scholarly duties of answering, since it adds to their headache brought on from the question-askers (as well as the overload of coffee). What professors hate even more, it seems, than those students who cannot manage to shut themselves up are disruptions in general. It's a disruption enough to have some fool waving their hand in the air in the middle of educating a room full of people, but those can at least be easily ignored - having an unconcious, possibly bleeding or engulfed-in-flame student on the ground cannot.
But have faith, diligent students! All hope is not yet lost.
Through research, I have developed a few ideas on how to combat this killer of brain cells - some are a few more intricate than others, but all of them just might be able to rid the world of the bane of our existances.
OPTION 1. One tactic which can work in a smaller group is to just stare at them intently everytime they speak, or even if they look like they are about to speak. But you have to really go for it, like no blinking, move your head, eyes wide. It doesn't matter what they think - that you're going to stalk them, kill them or that you're just weird - they usually find it pretty off putting. (Submitted by Chris "Tosser" Hale)
OPTION 2. A variation on option 1: making eye contact with said hand-raiser, and shaking your head back and forth rapidly in attempt to discourage them from raising their hand in the first place.
OPTION 3. The University could install circuits for small electrical currents in each seat in lecture halls. The professor would have a chart of all the seats at their podium, and each time an inane question is asked, the professor would be able to push the corresponding button to the seat of the student, electrocuting them minorly. This is similar to the use of "shock collars" for dogs - eventually, the student will learn to keep their hand down and not overstep their "boundaries," similar to a family pet. (Taken from Episode 2, Season 2 of the popular television show "Futurama")
OPTION 4. A student or a group of students wear ski masks or other items of clothing that hide the face, and sit in the most obsolete of locations in lecture - preferably hidden to the professor (and the potential question-askers, if at all possible). When the target raises his or her hand, the student or band of students throws a series of increasingly heavy objects at the student if they do not cease speaking. The student or band of students then run out of the lecture hall. This is very similar to guerilla warfare. (Taken from history - Vietnam/Iraq/assorted wars, etc.)
If anyone else has ideas on how to fight this enemy, please feel free to submit them!
For now, that is all.
(Apologies for my absence, by the way - life got just a tad hectic since Valentine's Day)
You're sitting in class, minding your own business (which may or may not include listening to the professor), and a movement catches your eye. You pick your head up, turning it towards the direction of the distraction, and silently hope that it isn't...one of them. They always interrupt class, detracting from your learning experience, and just plain hurt your delicate brain with their stupidities. You probably then audibly sigh, expressing your frustration to your colleagues, because what you witnessed is exactly what you feared:
Someone has their hand up.
They’re there in every class. You know the ones – they can’t seem to keep their mouth shut during lecture because they’re just bursting at the seams with intellectual ideas that must go forth so that their wisdom can enhance the lecture. One notices as well that they seem to know everything there is to know about the subject…or at least they think they do. They seem to convince themselves that everything they have to say is useful, when really, they talk because they either a.) like the sound of their own voice, b.) like to feel smart but really are not and their questions compensate for that, or c.) all of the above. It is perhaps the worst part of any lecture. They ask inane questions or raise their hands to make “observations”, neither of which have anything really to do with what the professor is saying, and the other students start bursting at the seams to allow their thoughts to go forth: “Shut up, for the love of God! Nobody cares!” And the smaller the lecture, the worse they are, because there is honestly no way to escape them. At least in the large lectures one can sleep, put on their headphones, or do one of those convenient Sudoku puzzles provided by The Daily Cardinal or The Badger Herald unnoticed. But in a small lecture or discussion of say, thirty people, it’s a difficult feat to melt into a crowd that isn’t there in order to drown out the infernal questions and speculations without a professor noticing.
What’s to be done about them, a good student who keeps their mouth shut would wonder? Well, there’s always the direct approach of throwing something heavy at them, like a brick or an overpriced textbook, but that has the potential to end badly, such as jail time or replacing textbooks (which is worse is yet to be determined). So, unless you’re willing to brave your college town’s jail cells or fork over another $200 for a book you’re never going to open, I would not personally recommend this option. A second option is the more indirect approach of shouting at said person, insulting them and reducing them to a smoldering pile of ash from the heat of your scathing remarks, but professors tend not to like that so much either, even if it relieves them from their scholarly duties of answering, since it adds to their headache brought on from the question-askers (as well as the overload of coffee). What professors hate even more, it seems, than those students who cannot manage to shut themselves up are disruptions in general. It's a disruption enough to have some fool waving their hand in the air in the middle of educating a room full of people, but those can at least be easily ignored - having an unconcious, possibly bleeding or engulfed-in-flame student on the ground cannot.
But have faith, diligent students! All hope is not yet lost.
Through research, I have developed a few ideas on how to combat this killer of brain cells - some are a few more intricate than others, but all of them just might be able to rid the world of the bane of our existances.
OPTION 1. One tactic which can work in a smaller group is to just stare at them intently everytime they speak, or even if they look like they are about to speak. But you have to really go for it, like no blinking, move your head, eyes wide. It doesn't matter what they think - that you're going to stalk them, kill them or that you're just weird - they usually find it pretty off putting. (Submitted by Chris "Tosser" Hale)
OPTION 2. A variation on option 1: making eye contact with said hand-raiser, and shaking your head back and forth rapidly in attempt to discourage them from raising their hand in the first place.
OPTION 3. The University could install circuits for small electrical currents in each seat in lecture halls. The professor would have a chart of all the seats at their podium, and each time an inane question is asked, the professor would be able to push the corresponding button to the seat of the student, electrocuting them minorly. This is similar to the use of "shock collars" for dogs - eventually, the student will learn to keep their hand down and not overstep their "boundaries," similar to a family pet. (Taken from Episode 2, Season 2 of the popular television show "Futurama")
OPTION 4. A student or a group of students wear ski masks or other items of clothing that hide the face, and sit in the most obsolete of locations in lecture - preferably hidden to the professor (and the potential question-askers, if at all possible). When the target raises his or her hand, the student or band of students throws a series of increasingly heavy objects at the student if they do not cease speaking. The student or band of students then run out of the lecture hall. This is very similar to guerilla warfare. (Taken from history - Vietnam/Iraq/assorted wars, etc.)
If anyone else has ideas on how to fight this enemy, please feel free to submit them!
For now, that is all.
(Apologies for my absence, by the way - life got just a tad hectic since Valentine's Day)
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