Irony

My life has once again been struck by a runaway case of irony. Remember back to my very first post in this blog, where I sound off about how being pale is awesome and how I try to avoid the sunlight for the safety of my very well-being?

Yeah, that worked out well.

Somehow, some way, I wound up with a suspicious spot on my leg that, after having a biopsy performed on it, turned out to be melanoma.

...seriously?

Here I am, someone who has never gone tanning a day in my life, tends to avoid sunlight like the plague, and always wears sunscreen at the beach - and I get skin cancer? What about all those girls from my high school, the sun-worshipers, that went tanning on a weekly basis during the school year, and layed out in their yards all summer? No? Well then, I guess I'm just lucky, huh?

The irony of it all just blindsided me (along with, of course, the shock of it), particularly since I wrote that blog way back when about paleness. I have, and always will be, proud of my paleness - even if I'm now more prone to skin cancer. But really, what are the chances...gah.

A Drive-By of Sorts

Like what I say every post - man, it's been a while. Last update, I was gearing up for finals; now, it's almost July and I've worked myself into a total stupor...I think my brain's completely turned off at this point. Either way, this summer has been extremely interesting thus far. I've rendered myself partially crippled (my new name is Crips McGee, fyi) due to the 8 stitches in my right thigh courtesy of getting a strange growth removed, and the second-degree scald burns on my left hand courtesy of a malignant bowl of oatmeal (these, of course, happened within 24 hours of each other) - basically, I've just been failing all over the place and have no way to stop it.

Anyway, my life being nearly destroyed by an out-of-control bowl of hot breakfast cereal is not the point of this post. The point involves an...incident...that occurred yesterday while my car was parked in the Wal-Mart parking lot (shame on me, I know - but can you really beat $4 generic prescriptions?).

I left my car parked fairly far away, as finding a spot was nearly impossible - apparently, all the white trash comes out of the woodwork for their Sunday Wal-Mart extragavanza. I hobbled my way to the store, picked up my prescription for my pathetic gimp leg, and set out back to my car. I called a friend as I walked back, wanting to ask her opinion on where all the hicks come from - yes, seriously. It's Villa Park, for chrissakes! Where do all these three-toothed, cutoffs-bearing rednecks come from?! Either way, I digress - I approached the zone where I remembered parking my car. I saw a silver car of the same make and model as mine, but this one had a bumper sticker on it - definitely not my car. I walked by it, then realized that there were no other cars that looked like mine anywhere.

'Wait a second...something's not right here,' I thought to myself as I walked back to the lookalike - nay, impostor - of my car. I stood behind it, stared at it a little bit, then read the license plate and realized that it was, in fact, my car. With a bumper sticker. A bumper sticker that I definitely did not put there.

After an obscenity-laced exclamation to my wireless companion, I stared at the sticker, trying to figure out what exactly the offensive sticker said. I figured it would be something stupid, some sort of political something-or-other, but no. It was even better. I spoke the words out loud as I read them:

"Hagrid, keeper of the keys and grounds"

Wait a second.

Hagrid? As in Hagrid from Harry Potter?

Yes. Yes, indeed, as there was a picture of a large, ruddy-faced, bearded giant with a little tiny lizard-type-creature biting his finger, grinning madly. What? Hagrid and...Norbert? On my car? Without my consent?

...SWEET.

Essentially, what this event boils down to is a drive-by bumper-stickering. I really can't think of any better way to explain this. I went into Wal-Mart sans bumper sticker, and returned with one. What really blows my mind is the fact that whoever this person or persons may be, they took one look at my car and thought, "Hmm, I bet with a French national motto across the back window of a sweet 2002 Mazda, this person loves Harry Potter," and then stuck my car with a Hagrid bumper sticker. Either that, or it was someone who knows me who happened to have an HP bumper sticker on hand...or it was just entirely random. I'm actually not sure which story I'd prefer most; they all have such a nice ring to them, and add their own dimensions to an already fantastic yarn.

So, what do you think? Was it:
a.) a conspiracy, geared towards an expansion of my own personal Harry Potter universe?
b.) one of my fellow HP-fanatic friends, trying to make my head explode in glee?
c.) a completely random and isolated incident
d.) perhaps a series of guerilla Harry Potter bumper sticker attacks?
or,
e.) something entirely of your own design?

Please, in order to solve this mystery, I'll need your help!
(This is like those Goosebumps books from back in the day where you choose your own ending...but better!)


And by the way, I actually found the sticker in question on eBay for your viewing pleasure:
http://cgi.ebay.com/Harry-Potter-Sticker-HAGRID-and-NORBERT-grounds-keeper_W0QQitemZ190231164523QQcmdZViewItem?IMSfp=TL0806211638r28779

And so it starts...