You know, I'm not usually a big movie critic. It doesn't take much to entertain me, and there are very few movies out there that I outright detest. Then again, it takes a bit to make me positively enamored with a movie, too; the characters have to be memorable, they have to have a certain attitude about them that sticks with you, the setting of the movie has to be good-looking, fitting, and beautiful, and hey, action that captivates you and makes you go, "No way!" is a big plus, too.
As for The Dark Knight?
Add it to the list of movies that I am completely enamored with.
First, let's discuss what this movie is actually about. Essentially, this movie, though about Batman, is not about him - it's about something bigger than just one superhero, one rich playboy-turned-protector. This movie is about Gotham, about a city torn apart by rampant crime who turn against their own vigilante savior because they fear the dark that is coming upon them, the dark that always comes before the light. It's not about Batman himself, but more about whether or not a superhero who is still a human being can have the strength of character, not physically, to do what is right in the face of adversity.
Given all of this, I feel like Christian Bale did a fantastic job of his role taking more to the sidelines than in the previous Batman Begins. That film's purpose was to set up Bruce Wayne's story, to give rhyme and reason to his "no-kill" policy, and to help the audience understand just what makes him tick. Not so in The Dark Knight. The audience, already familiar with his story, is spared a redundant rehash and is instead treated to watching the Batman deal with a whole new breed of criminal: The Joker (I'll talk about him in just a second - there's just not enough space in this article to really do him justice, anyway). It is quite true that one of the movie's central devices is the ways in which Bruce struggles with his new status as a vigiliante, a "criminal" in the eyes of some, and whether or not he can shoulder the burden of being Gotham's true protector - a burden which comes with great sacrifices. Regardless of this being a central theme and a device which drives the movie forward, I still don't feel like this movie was really about Batman. Though Batman is the "Dark Knight" of the title, and is the central character of the movie, it is less about him than everyone else.
Really, the supporting cast is what makes this film so unbelievable. Aaron Eckhart was a perfect Harvey Dent; he looked the part with his square jawline and pretty-boy blond hair, and played Dent with a fervor that matches his character(s) perfectly. I hardly recognized Gary Oldman as Gordan, but maybe that's because he's stuck in my mind currently as Sirius Black...either way, he was also perfect for his role as a doubtful cop who still holds hope in the elusive Batman, as well as perfect for that mustache.
Maggie Gyllenhaal I wasn't as enamored with (how often in my life am I going to say I liked Katie Holmes better?), but I thought she did a good job filling in a roll that was already played by someone else, and she gave Rachel, at the very least, a personality - something I suppose the previous Rachel rather lacked, in retrospect. Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine were brilliant as Lucius Fox and Alfred the Butler, respectively, in roles that nobody would otherwise care about had they not played them so well.
And then...there's Heath Ledger's Joker. He is what this movie is about, whether it intended to be or not. He stole the show in every single scene he cackled his way into (which, by the way, was deliciously creepy). A far more psychological and downright disturbing Joker than that of Jack Nicholson from 19 years back, this Joker doesn't laugh at his cynical Batman jokes - instead, he laughs at his own little plots, his schemes devised to bring anarchy upon Gotham so that he can stand and watch the city burn down around him...just for the hell of it. The Joker explains himself at one point as a "dog chasing a car...I wouldn't know what to do when I got it," and I think that's pretty accurate of the character himself: the audience wouldn't know what to do if they ever managed to understand him. That's the thing about the Joker, really, what makes him so disturbing to the common person: there's no reason to anything he does. He's not after money, he's not after glory - he just really likes to blow stuff up. We, as people motivated by goals, find this impossible to believe, and that's what makes Ledger's Joker all the more terrifying.
There is, of course, his appearance itself. No longer is he cartoonish and ridiculous-looking with his shock of green hair, cheerfully-colored suits, and carefully painted clown makeup; instead, his clothes are darker, his hair has only a tinge of green hiding amongst all of the grease and who knows what else, and his makeup is caked on haphazardly...the only thing he seems to apply with care is the blood-red line across his face, twisting his white, crackly visage into a grotesque grin. "Why so serious?"
As for the Joker's personality, he's a character that, though it rather repulses you, you can't help but love him. That's really part of the horror of the Joker in this film...he performs these terrible acts (for example, his first full scene where he performs a "magic trick" in which a pencil vanishes...into someones face), yet you still laugh at them ("Ta daaaaaaaa!"), then are immediately horrified at yourself for finding such grotesque actions funny. He seems to bring out not only the worst in the characters on-screen, but in the people watching it as well. Ledger's performance was quite simply cinematic brilliance - the ultimate villian, the ultimate antithesis to an already-conflicted hero.
I give this film an A+: the effects were fantastic, the stunts were believable, the action was simply badass but not over-the-top or excessive, the plot was intriguing, the dialogue was believable and engaging, and the acting was unparalleled - and not just for a comic book movie, or even a summer movie, for that matter. By breaking many hero film conventions (one in particular - trust me, you'll know which should you see it), this film, and particularly Heath Ledger, have some serious clout going into Oscar season.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Friday, July 11, 2008
The Downfall of the CD Industry: A Theory
Today, I received, with great joy, a CD in the mail.
I bought it off of Amazon.com, and eagerly awaited its arrival today at work, excited to play its aural goodness to keep me from losing my mind due to boredom. It finally arrived right before I left for lunch, so I held off on leaving until I could open it up and blast it like a madwoman in my car. I brought the package to my desk, slit the tape, and excitedly removed all of the plastic wrapping and cardboard from my precious compact disc.
However, instead of the quick process I was hoping for (I was very hungry - apparently, dieting does that to you...but I digress), it turned into some sort of open heart surgery-esque process involving scissors, finger maneuvering, and way too much complexity for simply opening a package.
And that, my friends, is what lead to the downfall of the non-digital music industry.
Oh sure, the argument can be made for the advent of Napster and the free music craze taking away from over-priced CD sales ("Why pay go to the store and $20 for this CD when I can get it at home, on my computer, for free?"), but why was digital music so appealing in the first place? Because it has no wrapping on it. Now I'm sure you're reading this and scoffing, but think back to the last few CDs or DVDs you've bought recently (however long ago that may be): was it not the most aggrevating process to remove all of the plastic and stickers from the case without either partially destroying the packaging and/or making a mess out of extremely sticky little pieces of plastic? Yeah, that's what I thought.
The fact that CDs (and DVDs for that matter) are really expensive is, of course, a factor in the downfall of the music industry, as it seems almost silly to buy something when you can just get it for free; however, what it really comes down to is convenience. You don't even have to leave your home or office to get whatever song or album or movie you want on a complete whim - but that's only half of the convenience. A digital file has no wrapping. No labels, no stickers, no scissors, no packaging disasters - in other words, no exceptional frustration after spending your hard-earned money on something you could have just gotten for free.
That, my friends, is how the music industry slaughtered their cash cow: everyone is just way too impatient for those pain-in-the-ass wrappers.
I bought it off of Amazon.com, and eagerly awaited its arrival today at work, excited to play its aural goodness to keep me from losing my mind due to boredom. It finally arrived right before I left for lunch, so I held off on leaving until I could open it up and blast it like a madwoman in my car. I brought the package to my desk, slit the tape, and excitedly removed all of the plastic wrapping and cardboard from my precious compact disc.
However, instead of the quick process I was hoping for (I was very hungry - apparently, dieting does that to you...but I digress), it turned into some sort of open heart surgery-esque process involving scissors, finger maneuvering, and way too much complexity for simply opening a package.
And that, my friends, is what lead to the downfall of the non-digital music industry.
Oh sure, the argument can be made for the advent of Napster and the free music craze taking away from over-priced CD sales ("Why pay go to the store and $20 for this CD when I can get it at home, on my computer, for free?"), but why was digital music so appealing in the first place? Because it has no wrapping on it. Now I'm sure you're reading this and scoffing, but think back to the last few CDs or DVDs you've bought recently (however long ago that may be): was it not the most aggrevating process to remove all of the plastic and stickers from the case without either partially destroying the packaging and/or making a mess out of extremely sticky little pieces of plastic? Yeah, that's what I thought.
The fact that CDs (and DVDs for that matter) are really expensive is, of course, a factor in the downfall of the music industry, as it seems almost silly to buy something when you can just get it for free; however, what it really comes down to is convenience. You don't even have to leave your home or office to get whatever song or album or movie you want on a complete whim - but that's only half of the convenience. A digital file has no wrapping. No labels, no stickers, no scissors, no packaging disasters - in other words, no exceptional frustration after spending your hard-earned money on something you could have just gotten for free.
That, my friends, is how the music industry slaughtered their cash cow: everyone is just way too impatient for those pain-in-the-ass wrappers.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Irony
My life has once again been struck by a runaway case of irony. Remember back to my very first post in this blog, where I sound off about how being pale is awesome and how I try to avoid the sunlight for the safety of my very well-being?
Yeah, that worked out well.
Somehow, some way, I wound up with a suspicious spot on my leg that, after having a biopsy performed on it, turned out to be melanoma.
...seriously?
Here I am, someone who has never gone tanning a day in my life, tends to avoid sunlight like the plague, and always wears sunscreen at the beach - and I get skin cancer? What about all those girls from my high school, the sun-worshipers, that went tanning on a weekly basis during the school year, and layed out in their yards all summer? No? Well then, I guess I'm just lucky, huh?
The irony of it all just blindsided me (along with, of course, the shock of it), particularly since I wrote that blog way back when about paleness. I have, and always will be, proud of my paleness - even if I'm now more prone to skin cancer. But really, what are the chances...gah.
Yeah, that worked out well.
Somehow, some way, I wound up with a suspicious spot on my leg that, after having a biopsy performed on it, turned out to be melanoma.
...seriously?
Here I am, someone who has never gone tanning a day in my life, tends to avoid sunlight like the plague, and always wears sunscreen at the beach - and I get skin cancer? What about all those girls from my high school, the sun-worshipers, that went tanning on a weekly basis during the school year, and layed out in their yards all summer? No? Well then, I guess I'm just lucky, huh?
The irony of it all just blindsided me (along with, of course, the shock of it), particularly since I wrote that blog way back when about paleness. I have, and always will be, proud of my paleness - even if I'm now more prone to skin cancer. But really, what are the chances...gah.
Monday, June 23, 2008
A Drive-By of Sorts
Like what I say every post - man, it's been a while. Last update, I was gearing up for finals; now, it's almost July and I've worked myself into a total stupor...I think my brain's completely turned off at this point. Either way, this summer has been extremely interesting thus far. I've rendered myself partially crippled (my new name is Crips McGee, fyi) due to the 8 stitches in my right thigh courtesy of getting a strange growth removed, and the second-degree scald burns on my left hand courtesy of a malignant bowl of oatmeal (these, of course, happened within 24 hours of each other) - basically, I've just been failing all over the place and have no way to stop it.
Anyway, my life being nearly destroyed by an out-of-control bowl of hot breakfast cereal is not the point of this post. The point involves an...incident...that occurred yesterday while my car was parked in the Wal-Mart parking lot (shame on me, I know - but can you really beat $4 generic prescriptions?).
I left my car parked fairly far away, as finding a spot was nearly impossible - apparently, all the white trash comes out of the woodwork for their Sunday Wal-Mart extragavanza. I hobbled my way to the store, picked up my prescription for my pathetic gimp leg, and set out back to my car. I called a friend as I walked back, wanting to ask her opinion on where all the hicks come from - yes, seriously. It's Villa Park, for chrissakes! Where do all these three-toothed, cutoffs-bearing rednecks come from?! Either way, I digress - I approached the zone where I remembered parking my car. I saw a silver car of the same make and model as mine, but this one had a bumper sticker on it - definitely not my car. I walked by it, then realized that there were no other cars that looked like mine anywhere.
'Wait a second...something's not right here,' I thought to myself as I walked back to the lookalike - nay, impostor - of my car. I stood behind it, stared at it a little bit, then read the license plate and realized that it was, in fact, my car. With a bumper sticker. A bumper sticker that I definitely did not put there.
After an obscenity-laced exclamation to my wireless companion, I stared at the sticker, trying to figure out what exactly the offensive sticker said. I figured it would be something stupid, some sort of political something-or-other, but no. It was even better. I spoke the words out loud as I read them:
"Hagrid, keeper of the keys and grounds"
Wait a second.
Hagrid? As in Hagrid from Harry Potter?
Yes. Yes, indeed, as there was a picture of a large, ruddy-faced, bearded giant with a little tiny lizard-type-creature biting his finger, grinning madly. What? Hagrid and...Norbert? On my car? Without my consent?
...SWEET.
Essentially, what this event boils down to is a drive-by bumper-stickering. I really can't think of any better way to explain this. I went into Wal-Mart sans bumper sticker, and returned with one. What really blows my mind is the fact that whoever this person or persons may be, they took one look at my car and thought, "Hmm, I bet with a French national motto across the back window of a sweet 2002 Mazda, this person loves Harry Potter," and then stuck my car with a Hagrid bumper sticker. Either that, or it was someone who knows me who happened to have an HP bumper sticker on hand...or it was just entirely random. I'm actually not sure which story I'd prefer most; they all have such a nice ring to them, and add their own dimensions to an already fantastic yarn.
So, what do you think? Was it:
a.) a conspiracy, geared towards an expansion of my own personal Harry Potter universe?
b.) one of my fellow HP-fanatic friends, trying to make my head explode in glee?
c.) a completely random and isolated incident
d.) perhaps a series of guerilla Harry Potter bumper sticker attacks?
or,
e.) something entirely of your own design?
Please, in order to solve this mystery, I'll need your help!
(This is like those Goosebumps books from back in the day where you choose your own ending...but better!)
And by the way, I actually found the sticker in question on eBay for your viewing pleasure:
http://cgi.ebay.com/Harry-Potter-Sticker-HAGRID-and-NORBERT-grounds-keeper_W0QQitemZ190231164523QQcmdZViewItem?IMSfp=TL0806211638r28779
And so it starts...
Anyway, my life being nearly destroyed by an out-of-control bowl of hot breakfast cereal is not the point of this post. The point involves an...incident...that occurred yesterday while my car was parked in the Wal-Mart parking lot (shame on me, I know - but can you really beat $4 generic prescriptions?).
I left my car parked fairly far away, as finding a spot was nearly impossible - apparently, all the white trash comes out of the woodwork for their Sunday Wal-Mart extragavanza. I hobbled my way to the store, picked up my prescription for my pathetic gimp leg, and set out back to my car. I called a friend as I walked back, wanting to ask her opinion on where all the hicks come from - yes, seriously. It's Villa Park, for chrissakes! Where do all these three-toothed, cutoffs-bearing rednecks come from?! Either way, I digress - I approached the zone where I remembered parking my car. I saw a silver car of the same make and model as mine, but this one had a bumper sticker on it - definitely not my car. I walked by it, then realized that there were no other cars that looked like mine anywhere.
'Wait a second...something's not right here,' I thought to myself as I walked back to the lookalike - nay, impostor - of my car. I stood behind it, stared at it a little bit, then read the license plate and realized that it was, in fact, my car. With a bumper sticker. A bumper sticker that I definitely did not put there.
After an obscenity-laced exclamation to my wireless companion, I stared at the sticker, trying to figure out what exactly the offensive sticker said. I figured it would be something stupid, some sort of political something-or-other, but no. It was even better. I spoke the words out loud as I read them:
"Hagrid, keeper of the keys and grounds"
Wait a second.
Hagrid? As in Hagrid from Harry Potter?
Yes. Yes, indeed, as there was a picture of a large, ruddy-faced, bearded giant with a little tiny lizard-type-creature biting his finger, grinning madly. What? Hagrid and...Norbert? On my car? Without my consent?
...SWEET.
Essentially, what this event boils down to is a drive-by bumper-stickering. I really can't think of any better way to explain this. I went into Wal-Mart sans bumper sticker, and returned with one. What really blows my mind is the fact that whoever this person or persons may be, they took one look at my car and thought, "Hmm, I bet with a French national motto across the back window of a sweet 2002 Mazda, this person loves Harry Potter," and then stuck my car with a Hagrid bumper sticker. Either that, or it was someone who knows me who happened to have an HP bumper sticker on hand...or it was just entirely random. I'm actually not sure which story I'd prefer most; they all have such a nice ring to them, and add their own dimensions to an already fantastic yarn.
So, what do you think? Was it:
a.) a conspiracy, geared towards an expansion of my own personal Harry Potter universe?
b.) one of my fellow HP-fanatic friends, trying to make my head explode in glee?
c.) a completely random and isolated incident
d.) perhaps a series of guerilla Harry Potter bumper sticker attacks?
or,
e.) something entirely of your own design?
Please, in order to solve this mystery, I'll need your help!
(This is like those Goosebumps books from back in the day where you choose your own ending...but better!)
And by the way, I actually found the sticker in question on eBay for your viewing pleasure:
http://cgi.ebay.com/Harry-Potter-Sticker-HAGRID-and-NORBERT-grounds-keeper_W0QQitemZ190231164523QQcmdZViewItem?IMSfp=TL0806211638r28779
And so it starts...
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
A Top 30 List.
Apologies for my hiatus! Apparently, I do this thing where I pay thousands of dollars a year to get an education or something, and I guess it takes time away from my blogging - an unfortunate side effect of going to college.
Anyway, I found a list similar to the following one here: http://members.aol.com/ivycleartoes/30list.html so I figured I'd give it a shot myself. This should be both interesting and entertaining for all.
The Top 30 Characters I'd Do
30.) George - George of the Jungle
Oh, he’s just so cute and endearing. He remains untainted by the modern world, and has an ape named Ape and an elephant named Shep. He's noble in his own right, and loves Jane very, very much. Plus, body. Wow. IN BED: Added bonuses include perpetual privacy in the jungle (save from those pesky animals) and his incredible vine-swinging ability.
29.) Dr. Jo Harding – Twister
Jo is a very strong character who’s dedicated to the cause to an almost fanatical degree, due to a tragedy in her past. However, she doesn’t let this bog her down – she’s as devoted as they get to chasing twisters, and is also partially responsible for developing an advanced storm-studying pack. She’s intelligent, she’s a risk-taker, and she never did really give up on Bill. IN BED: The woman likes to chase tornadoes, for god’s sake. She’s about as exciting as they come.
28.) V - V for Vendetta
V is shrouded in mystery. He can save a damsel in distress, kick ass and take names, and cook you breakfast all in one fell swoop - all without removing his mask (which is, in some strange way, rather sexy). V's intelligence, thirst for vengeance, freedom fighting, and remaining compassion make him the most desirable masked bachelor I've seen in a long time. IN BED: With moves like his, V can detonate my Parliament any day.
27.) Eric Foreman – That 70’s Show
I've always had a thing for the gangly nerdy kids, and Eric Foreman embodies just that. He's kind of a slacker and doesn't seem to be good at anything in particular, but he tends to be the brains of the operation...next to Donna, that is. IN BED: half of the girls in Point Place seem to have had a thing for him at one point (haha?) or another, so apparently there's something going on there. Besides, who wouldn't want sex in the Vista Cruiser?
24.) Hamlet – Hamlet
You gotta love the conflicted guy. Hamlet is potentially the most intelligent literary figure ever, and you’re never quite sure whether or not he’s crazy…he’s either a fantastic actor, or completely off his rocker. Regardless, Hamlet’s a mystery I’d love to solve. IN BED: His tendency towards crazy, passionate mood swings would definitely spice things up. That, and there’s the whole prince of an entire country thing. At least one thing is not rotten in the state of Denmark…
23.) Patrick Verona – 10 Things I Hate About You
Patrick Verona is, for lack of a better term, a complete badass. The rumor mill is constantly churning around him, with crazy stories that make him practically legendary at Padua High. He has a sexy, brooding look to him with his crazy black hair and biker-esque clothes, complimented by the constant presence of his non-violent Buddhist friend. I always like a man who's into variety. IN BED: He has no liver and once ate an entire duck. I like the adventurous types.
22.) Legolas – The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Ah, the strong, silent type. Legolas is almost effeminate in appearance if you forget about his extraordinary archery, unsurpassable fighting skills, his longevity as a runner, his devotion to his brethren, and his intense, piercing stare…so I guess he’s really not, save for the pretty blond hair. Legolas is not cocky, despite the fact that he owns the crap out of any sorry orc that comes his way, and his poise and silent confidence are exceptionally sexy. IN BED: He can run for days and not get tired. That, I’m sure, applies elsewhere.
21.) Kat – 10 Things I Hate About You
And 10 Things I hate About You makes another appearance! Kat has so much attitude that you don’t even know where to start. She’s so fervently against the grain that she’s almost predictable, she’s got a bad temper, everyone’s afraid of her, and she does whatever she damn well pleases…and yet still manages to be a little human and fall for the adorable Pat Verona. Kat is exceptionally badass, and is an excellent interpretation of The Taming of the Shrew’s well…shrew. IN BED: That girl is a dirty, dirty dancer.
20.) Lestat – Interview with the Vampire
Ah, the Brat Prince. Lestat is decadent, indulgent, and occasionally sweet – sort of like a good desert. But Lestat is much more than that: he’s introspective, deep, sensitive, has a love of fine and beautiful things, and is a conflicted, troubled man. That, and he’s a vampire. Pretty hot. IN BED: I’d trade many, many eternities of damnation for a night with Lestat.
19.) Jack Dawson – Titanic
Yeah, yeah, I know, what a cliché. Even still, Jack’s nobility, cheekiness, and bravery make him one sexy immigrant. I’d steam up a car with Jack any day, even if it involved being on a sinking ship. IN BED: Two words: artist's hands. Enough said.
18.) Detective Stabler – Law and Order: SVU
Detective Elliot Stabler is intense, strong, and focused: what else would you want in a man in bed? His attitude is awesome; he won’t stop until he gets the bad guy, yet he readily admits to his flaws, of which he has many. And that’s why we love him. IN BED: I’d play cops and robbers with him any day.
17.) William – A Knight’s Tale
William Thatcher: a poor man with a knight’s ambitions. You gotta sympathize with him; he really makes a lot out of a life that didn’t give him much. William is loyal to his friends, fiercely devoted to jousting, and falls hard and good for the lady. Plus, he’s skilled not only in jousting, but in sword fighting and other such knightly activities. IN BED: he can ride a horse AND carry a big stick at the same time…
16.) Captain Jack Sparrow - Pirates of the Caribbean
Ah, the notorious Cap'n Jack. A pirate who can worm his way out of any tough situation, Captain Jack still manages to be honorable, even when all the rum's gone. His strange demeanor and clumsiness still have an awkward kind of grace to them that makes him endearing, and addition to having looks to spare. IN BED: yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's bed for me...
15.) El Mariachi – Desperado/Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Other than the fact that his accent is delicious, El Mariachi embodies the strong, silent type who knows exactly how to get the job done. His thirst for vengeance is perfectly coupled with some absolutely badass moves, and he always gets the girl...even when he's not trying. IN BED: he has guitarists' fingers, a seductive presence, and is extremely intense. He's strong, fast, and probably the best gunfighter there ever was - that would be fun.
14.) Harry Potter – Harry Potter
Well, Harry is just so damn…noble. He carries an epic burden, yet does not allow it to taint the purity of his soul. He’s believable and human, despite the fact that he has to single-handedly save the world. He's also attractive, personable, and a fantastic leader. That, and I could imagine that all of that Quiddich-playing and world-saving does wonders on a man's body. IN BED: you know what they say about the size of a wizard's wand...
13.) Danielle – EverAfter
Danielle de Barbarac is a Renaissance girl who defies all expectations of her, from social to gender. She couldn’t give a damn what others think of her, and goes through life with her head held high, despite the evil women in her life – someone every girl wants to be. Danielle also has a fantastic right arm (she totally took that wimpy prince out with the apple, didn’t she?), skills with a blade, and a sharp tongue. That’s pretty hot. IN BED: She’s a rough-and-tumble kind of girl who’s not afraid to have a good romp in the mud.
12.) Christian – Moulin Rouge
Sweet, sensitive, romantic, a damn good singer…what else could a girl ask for? He’s the ultimate in your sweet romantic fantasies. IN BED: He’s got a very big “talent”. Enough said.
11.) Wolverine – X-Men
Wolverine is one of those guys that’s rough around the edges in all ways possible, but when he loves you, he loves you for good. A good way to describe him is primal: he’s instinctual, protective, and animalistic, but he makes that ridiculously hot. IN BED: his skeleton is made of metal, he’s stronger than three men put together, and all of his wounds instantly heal. That would make for one interesting night.
10.) Trent Lane – Daria
Trent is the stoner kind of hot – the creative, weird, spacy kind of guy that you love to chill with because you never know what he’ll say next. Trent is also a talented musician who started his own band…and you know what they say about musicians. IN BED: Trent doesn’t like to make any sudden movements…so expect this to go on for a loooooong time.
9.) Mulan – Mulan
Mulan is so damned awesome. She’s fierce, loyal, resourceful, strong, goal-oriented, and brave – what else could you ask for? At the same time, she’s down-to-earth and realistic, funny, and is the ultimate in badass girls. She also doesn’t mind when her ancestors send her a little lizard for backup. IN BED: All that training with the Chinese army’s gotta pay off…
8.) InuYasha – InuYasha
InuYasha’s another one of those rough around the edges guys. He’s callous, a little evil, but an all-around lovable little hanyou who thinks that he can hide his love for Kagome (wrong!). IN BED: We saw how huge Tetsaiga gets when he goes into battle. I have a sneaking suspicion that applies elsewhere.
7.) The Phantom - The Phantom of the Opera
Talk about a conflicted character! The Phantom is brooding, intense, insanely smart, and has a possessive streak a mile wide. Given, he murdered a person or two, but it was essentially all in the name of the woman he loves. Physically, the Phantom is extremely strong, and pulls off tight pants in a manner matched perhaps only by David Bowie. IN BED: With that sexy half-mask and seductive voice, the Phantom can haunt by bedroom whenever he wants.
6.) Will Turner – Pirates of the Caribbean
Will’s passionate, dedicated, and innocent. He can swordfight, commandeer ships, and work with the most notorious pirate in the Caribbean yet still maintain his morals, and never once strays from his Elizabeth. His willingness to sacrifice for her is just…well, hot. IN BED: When one thinks about the amount of strength and control required to swordfight that well (he practices for HOW many hours a day?!), one starts to get ideas. That, and he’s just plain hot.
5.) Quatre Winner – Gundam Wing
Quatre is perhaps one of the most innocent people on this list. He lives his life with the purest of heart, and does not allow it to become tainted with the hardships and evils of warfare. That, and he’s a violinist. Violinists are hot. IN BED: He can pilot a massive space machine, which leads one to believe he’s quite comfortable piloting…other…massive machines.
4.) Ron Weasley – Harry Potter
Ron has been chosen over Harry due to the fact that he’s the underdog, and everybody loves the underdog. Ron’s fierce devotion to his friends makes one think that he’s like that in all aspects of his life (such as in bed), and his general unwarranted underrated-ness (so that’s not a word, who cares?) would lead one to the idea that it is definitely made up for in bed. IN BED: Redheads are a fiery lot. With Ron’s temper, you’d better watch out, or you might get burned.
3.) Lucius Malfoy – Harry Potter
What to say about Mr. Malfoy Sr.? He’s so damned evil…but in a seductive kind of way. He’s powerful, rich, influential, and extremely skilled at talking his way out of trouble (or in trouble, depending on the case), and Voldemort’s right hand man – yet somehow you can still imagine yourself climbing into bed with him for a night of wicked debauchery…or at least I can. IN BED: He’s rich and attractive. And evil. Enough said.
2.) Rick O’Connell – The Mummy/The Mummy Returns
Ah, the dashing good guy. Mr. O'Connell ("You can call me Rick...") is the ultimate movie hero: not only does he have good looks and boundless amounts of courage, but he has boundless amounts of sarcasm and wit to spare as well. Rick's fierce protection of his family in the latter movies makes him appealing to women across the board, and how can you go wrong at a guy who'll scream right back at a reanimated decomposing corpse? IN BED: I've never seen anyone make riding a camel look so sexy.
1.) Jareth – Labyrinth
Alright, everyone’s gotta love the bad guy…but what makes Jareth even more attractive is that you totally understand his motives (he loves Sarah, and she totally shoots him down! What a bitch!). He’s smooth, cool, cunning, and sexy in that bad guy sort of way, with a twist of the 80’s. His general attitude is so poised that he’d have me walking off cliffs and forgetting about babies (except for making some with him…) left and right, and his voice is unbelievably commanding and seductive. We won’t even mention the things visible in those spandex pants…IN BED: Um…did you SEE how he twirled those glass spheres?
Conclusion: I have a thing for pirates and guys with swords and/or masks.
Breakdown
Guys: 26
Girls: 4
Cartoons: 4
Real-life: 26
Human: 13
Other: 8 (three wizards, one vampire, one mutant, one dog-demon, one elf, and one goblin king)
Fun Fact: I have two Orlando Bloom characters, two Heath Ledger Characters, and two Brendan Fraser characters. I also started this list before Heath Ledger died... :(
Anyway, I found a list similar to the following one here: http://members.aol.com/ivycleartoes/30list.html so I figured I'd give it a shot myself. This should be both interesting and entertaining for all.
The Top 30 Characters I'd Do
30.) George - George of the Jungle
Oh, he’s just so cute and endearing. He remains untainted by the modern world, and has an ape named Ape and an elephant named Shep. He's noble in his own right, and loves Jane very, very much. Plus, body. Wow. IN BED: Added bonuses include perpetual privacy in the jungle (save from those pesky animals) and his incredible vine-swinging ability.
29.) Dr. Jo Harding – Twister
Jo is a very strong character who’s dedicated to the cause to an almost fanatical degree, due to a tragedy in her past. However, she doesn’t let this bog her down – she’s as devoted as they get to chasing twisters, and is also partially responsible for developing an advanced storm-studying pack. She’s intelligent, she’s a risk-taker, and she never did really give up on Bill. IN BED: The woman likes to chase tornadoes, for god’s sake. She’s about as exciting as they come.
28.) V - V for Vendetta
V is shrouded in mystery. He can save a damsel in distress, kick ass and take names, and cook you breakfast all in one fell swoop - all without removing his mask (which is, in some strange way, rather sexy). V's intelligence, thirst for vengeance, freedom fighting, and remaining compassion make him the most desirable masked bachelor I've seen in a long time. IN BED: With moves like his, V can detonate my Parliament any day.
27.) Eric Foreman – That 70’s Show
I've always had a thing for the gangly nerdy kids, and Eric Foreman embodies just that. He's kind of a slacker and doesn't seem to be good at anything in particular, but he tends to be the brains of the operation...next to Donna, that is. IN BED: half of the girls in Point Place seem to have had a thing for him at one point (haha?) or another, so apparently there's something going on there. Besides, who wouldn't want sex in the Vista Cruiser?
24.) Hamlet – Hamlet
You gotta love the conflicted guy. Hamlet is potentially the most intelligent literary figure ever, and you’re never quite sure whether or not he’s crazy…he’s either a fantastic actor, or completely off his rocker. Regardless, Hamlet’s a mystery I’d love to solve. IN BED: His tendency towards crazy, passionate mood swings would definitely spice things up. That, and there’s the whole prince of an entire country thing. At least one thing is not rotten in the state of Denmark…
23.) Patrick Verona – 10 Things I Hate About You
Patrick Verona is, for lack of a better term, a complete badass. The rumor mill is constantly churning around him, with crazy stories that make him practically legendary at Padua High. He has a sexy, brooding look to him with his crazy black hair and biker-esque clothes, complimented by the constant presence of his non-violent Buddhist friend. I always like a man who's into variety. IN BED: He has no liver and once ate an entire duck. I like the adventurous types.
22.) Legolas – The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Ah, the strong, silent type. Legolas is almost effeminate in appearance if you forget about his extraordinary archery, unsurpassable fighting skills, his longevity as a runner, his devotion to his brethren, and his intense, piercing stare…so I guess he’s really not, save for the pretty blond hair. Legolas is not cocky, despite the fact that he owns the crap out of any sorry orc that comes his way, and his poise and silent confidence are exceptionally sexy. IN BED: He can run for days and not get tired. That, I’m sure, applies elsewhere.
21.) Kat – 10 Things I Hate About You
And 10 Things I hate About You makes another appearance! Kat has so much attitude that you don’t even know where to start. She’s so fervently against the grain that she’s almost predictable, she’s got a bad temper, everyone’s afraid of her, and she does whatever she damn well pleases…and yet still manages to be a little human and fall for the adorable Pat Verona. Kat is exceptionally badass, and is an excellent interpretation of The Taming of the Shrew’s well…shrew. IN BED: That girl is a dirty, dirty dancer.
20.) Lestat – Interview with the Vampire
Ah, the Brat Prince. Lestat is decadent, indulgent, and occasionally sweet – sort of like a good desert. But Lestat is much more than that: he’s introspective, deep, sensitive, has a love of fine and beautiful things, and is a conflicted, troubled man. That, and he’s a vampire. Pretty hot. IN BED: I’d trade many, many eternities of damnation for a night with Lestat.
19.) Jack Dawson – Titanic
Yeah, yeah, I know, what a cliché. Even still, Jack’s nobility, cheekiness, and bravery make him one sexy immigrant. I’d steam up a car with Jack any day, even if it involved being on a sinking ship. IN BED: Two words: artist's hands. Enough said.
18.) Detective Stabler – Law and Order: SVU
Detective Elliot Stabler is intense, strong, and focused: what else would you want in a man in bed? His attitude is awesome; he won’t stop until he gets the bad guy, yet he readily admits to his flaws, of which he has many. And that’s why we love him. IN BED: I’d play cops and robbers with him any day.
17.) William – A Knight’s Tale
William Thatcher: a poor man with a knight’s ambitions. You gotta sympathize with him; he really makes a lot out of a life that didn’t give him much. William is loyal to his friends, fiercely devoted to jousting, and falls hard and good for the lady. Plus, he’s skilled not only in jousting, but in sword fighting and other such knightly activities. IN BED: he can ride a horse AND carry a big stick at the same time…
16.) Captain Jack Sparrow - Pirates of the Caribbean
Ah, the notorious Cap'n Jack. A pirate who can worm his way out of any tough situation, Captain Jack still manages to be honorable, even when all the rum's gone. His strange demeanor and clumsiness still have an awkward kind of grace to them that makes him endearing, and addition to having looks to spare. IN BED: yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's bed for me...
15.) El Mariachi – Desperado/Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Other than the fact that his accent is delicious, El Mariachi embodies the strong, silent type who knows exactly how to get the job done. His thirst for vengeance is perfectly coupled with some absolutely badass moves, and he always gets the girl...even when he's not trying. IN BED: he has guitarists' fingers, a seductive presence, and is extremely intense. He's strong, fast, and probably the best gunfighter there ever was - that would be fun.
14.) Harry Potter – Harry Potter
Well, Harry is just so damn…noble. He carries an epic burden, yet does not allow it to taint the purity of his soul. He’s believable and human, despite the fact that he has to single-handedly save the world. He's also attractive, personable, and a fantastic leader. That, and I could imagine that all of that Quiddich-playing and world-saving does wonders on a man's body. IN BED: you know what they say about the size of a wizard's wand...
13.) Danielle – EverAfter
Danielle de Barbarac is a Renaissance girl who defies all expectations of her, from social to gender. She couldn’t give a damn what others think of her, and goes through life with her head held high, despite the evil women in her life – someone every girl wants to be. Danielle also has a fantastic right arm (she totally took that wimpy prince out with the apple, didn’t she?), skills with a blade, and a sharp tongue. That’s pretty hot. IN BED: She’s a rough-and-tumble kind of girl who’s not afraid to have a good romp in the mud.
12.) Christian – Moulin Rouge
Sweet, sensitive, romantic, a damn good singer…what else could a girl ask for? He’s the ultimate in your sweet romantic fantasies. IN BED: He’s got a very big “talent”. Enough said.
11.) Wolverine – X-Men
Wolverine is one of those guys that’s rough around the edges in all ways possible, but when he loves you, he loves you for good. A good way to describe him is primal: he’s instinctual, protective, and animalistic, but he makes that ridiculously hot. IN BED: his skeleton is made of metal, he’s stronger than three men put together, and all of his wounds instantly heal. That would make for one interesting night.
10.) Trent Lane – Daria
Trent is the stoner kind of hot – the creative, weird, spacy kind of guy that you love to chill with because you never know what he’ll say next. Trent is also a talented musician who started his own band…and you know what they say about musicians. IN BED: Trent doesn’t like to make any sudden movements…so expect this to go on for a loooooong time.
9.) Mulan – Mulan
Mulan is so damned awesome. She’s fierce, loyal, resourceful, strong, goal-oriented, and brave – what else could you ask for? At the same time, she’s down-to-earth and realistic, funny, and is the ultimate in badass girls. She also doesn’t mind when her ancestors send her a little lizard for backup. IN BED: All that training with the Chinese army’s gotta pay off…
8.) InuYasha – InuYasha
InuYasha’s another one of those rough around the edges guys. He’s callous, a little evil, but an all-around lovable little hanyou who thinks that he can hide his love for Kagome (wrong!). IN BED: We saw how huge Tetsaiga gets when he goes into battle. I have a sneaking suspicion that applies elsewhere.
7.) The Phantom - The Phantom of the Opera
Talk about a conflicted character! The Phantom is brooding, intense, insanely smart, and has a possessive streak a mile wide. Given, he murdered a person or two, but it was essentially all in the name of the woman he loves. Physically, the Phantom is extremely strong, and pulls off tight pants in a manner matched perhaps only by David Bowie. IN BED: With that sexy half-mask and seductive voice, the Phantom can haunt by bedroom whenever he wants.
6.) Will Turner – Pirates of the Caribbean
Will’s passionate, dedicated, and innocent. He can swordfight, commandeer ships, and work with the most notorious pirate in the Caribbean yet still maintain his morals, and never once strays from his Elizabeth. His willingness to sacrifice for her is just…well, hot. IN BED: When one thinks about the amount of strength and control required to swordfight that well (he practices for HOW many hours a day?!), one starts to get ideas. That, and he’s just plain hot.
5.) Quatre Winner – Gundam Wing
Quatre is perhaps one of the most innocent people on this list. He lives his life with the purest of heart, and does not allow it to become tainted with the hardships and evils of warfare. That, and he’s a violinist. Violinists are hot. IN BED: He can pilot a massive space machine, which leads one to believe he’s quite comfortable piloting…other…massive machines.
4.) Ron Weasley – Harry Potter
Ron has been chosen over Harry due to the fact that he’s the underdog, and everybody loves the underdog. Ron’s fierce devotion to his friends makes one think that he’s like that in all aspects of his life (such as in bed), and his general unwarranted underrated-ness (so that’s not a word, who cares?) would lead one to the idea that it is definitely made up for in bed. IN BED: Redheads are a fiery lot. With Ron’s temper, you’d better watch out, or you might get burned.
3.) Lucius Malfoy – Harry Potter
What to say about Mr. Malfoy Sr.? He’s so damned evil…but in a seductive kind of way. He’s powerful, rich, influential, and extremely skilled at talking his way out of trouble (or in trouble, depending on the case), and Voldemort’s right hand man – yet somehow you can still imagine yourself climbing into bed with him for a night of wicked debauchery…or at least I can. IN BED: He’s rich and attractive. And evil. Enough said.
2.) Rick O’Connell – The Mummy/The Mummy Returns
Ah, the dashing good guy. Mr. O'Connell ("You can call me Rick...") is the ultimate movie hero: not only does he have good looks and boundless amounts of courage, but he has boundless amounts of sarcasm and wit to spare as well. Rick's fierce protection of his family in the latter movies makes him appealing to women across the board, and how can you go wrong at a guy who'll scream right back at a reanimated decomposing corpse? IN BED: I've never seen anyone make riding a camel look so sexy.
1.) Jareth – Labyrinth
Alright, everyone’s gotta love the bad guy…but what makes Jareth even more attractive is that you totally understand his motives (he loves Sarah, and she totally shoots him down! What a bitch!). He’s smooth, cool, cunning, and sexy in that bad guy sort of way, with a twist of the 80’s. His general attitude is so poised that he’d have me walking off cliffs and forgetting about babies (except for making some with him…) left and right, and his voice is unbelievably commanding and seductive. We won’t even mention the things visible in those spandex pants…IN BED: Um…did you SEE how he twirled those glass spheres?
Conclusion: I have a thing for pirates and guys with swords and/or masks.
Breakdown
Guys: 26
Girls: 4
Cartoons: 4
Real-life: 26
Human: 13
Other: 8 (three wizards, one vampire, one mutant, one dog-demon, one elf, and one goblin king)
Fun Fact: I have two Orlando Bloom characters, two Heath Ledger Characters, and two Brendan Fraser characters. I also started this list before Heath Ledger died... :(
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
A little late, but...
Oh my god, Christian won Project Runway.
CHRISTIAN.
What in the flying fuck?
First off, his line in the final was just, in a word, horrendous. Most of those models couldn't even see where they were going due to the ridiculous floppy hats and 8-foot tall collars. I suppose his line fell under the guise of "couture," but as far as wearability, I'm thinking a huge no. If I ever saw someone wearing one of those jackets with those collars walking down the street, I'd probably stop, stare at them, pause, then smack them across the face with a brick. But its sheer ridiculousenss aside, it was all pretty dull to me. It was an endless parade of black and drab greenish grey, with some ruffles, feathers, structured jackets, skinny jeans, and boots. Honestly, almost everything out there could fall under at least one of those categories - how boring.
Then there was the judging. Other than the fact that Nina Garcia seems to lack any sort of taste in fashion or common sense (and is, of course, a total bitch), who was the guest judge? None other than Victoria Beckham, who Christian has said on numerous occasions is one of his style icons and specifically designs for her. Well, then, isn't it just a tad biased to have her as a guest judge, seeing as she's already stated to be a fan of his work? It seemed just a little ridiculous, not to mention horribly unfair, for Rami and Jillian when the guest judge is almost guaranteed to vote for Christian.
I know it sounds like I'm being really harsh on Christian - I suppose I am - because his style is very much not for my taste (or anyone else's taste that I know, fortunately). I have to hand it to him, though, he has some chops as a designer, particularly for someone who's 21 years old. It blows my mind that he's only a year older than me and has already won Project Runway and could sell his entire line to Posh Spice, and I'm doing...well, nothing, other than writing this blog and going to college. Christian is a little diva and can be a total snot, as well has having a serious need to start working on his people skills, particularly with his customers, but he isn't afraid to take risks and really owns his work. That much was apparent at the runway show; he loved what he made, and I respect that, even if I didn't love it.
Regardless, I thought Jillian's collection was much better (her knits were adorable!), and had expected her to win over Rami for sure. I didn't even know what to say when Rami was in the final two, as his color selection was pretty bad overall (what was he thinking when he put that absolutely gorgeous weave dress in a drab olive?!), and his line, other than his dresses, just fell completely flat. There was one particular outfit that stuck out in my head; there were these awful high-waisted magenta pants with awkward pockets that stuck out everywhere and just didn't fit the model, and this jacket...thing...that was black and white patterned and had ruffles and I don't even know what happening on it. I think I threw up in my mouth a little when I saw that go down the runway. Rami's strengths definitely lie in his gown design; sure, he drapes all the damn time, but he does a great job of it. Some of his dresses I could actually wear, and would like to wear, but the rest of his clothes...no. Just...no.
Besides...I missed Chris.
Either way, I'm shocked that Christian won, shocked at the choice of guest judge, and shocked that Jillian didn't at least get second.
Oh, and I'm shocked that magenta high-waisted pants found their way anywhere near that finale.
P.S. Here's a fun interview with the fabulous Tim Gunn from the Chicago Tribune:
http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com/entertainment_tv/2008/03/project-runways.html
CHRISTIAN.
What in the flying fuck?
First off, his line in the final was just, in a word, horrendous. Most of those models couldn't even see where they were going due to the ridiculous floppy hats and 8-foot tall collars. I suppose his line fell under the guise of "couture," but as far as wearability, I'm thinking a huge no. If I ever saw someone wearing one of those jackets with those collars walking down the street, I'd probably stop, stare at them, pause, then smack them across the face with a brick. But its sheer ridiculousenss aside, it was all pretty dull to me. It was an endless parade of black and drab greenish grey, with some ruffles, feathers, structured jackets, skinny jeans, and boots. Honestly, almost everything out there could fall under at least one of those categories - how boring.
Then there was the judging. Other than the fact that Nina Garcia seems to lack any sort of taste in fashion or common sense (and is, of course, a total bitch), who was the guest judge? None other than Victoria Beckham, who Christian has said on numerous occasions is one of his style icons and specifically designs for her. Well, then, isn't it just a tad biased to have her as a guest judge, seeing as she's already stated to be a fan of his work? It seemed just a little ridiculous, not to mention horribly unfair, for Rami and Jillian when the guest judge is almost guaranteed to vote for Christian.
I know it sounds like I'm being really harsh on Christian - I suppose I am - because his style is very much not for my taste (or anyone else's taste that I know, fortunately). I have to hand it to him, though, he has some chops as a designer, particularly for someone who's 21 years old. It blows my mind that he's only a year older than me and has already won Project Runway and could sell his entire line to Posh Spice, and I'm doing...well, nothing, other than writing this blog and going to college. Christian is a little diva and can be a total snot, as well has having a serious need to start working on his people skills, particularly with his customers, but he isn't afraid to take risks and really owns his work. That much was apparent at the runway show; he loved what he made, and I respect that, even if I didn't love it.
Regardless, I thought Jillian's collection was much better (her knits were adorable!), and had expected her to win over Rami for sure. I didn't even know what to say when Rami was in the final two, as his color selection was pretty bad overall (what was he thinking when he put that absolutely gorgeous weave dress in a drab olive?!), and his line, other than his dresses, just fell completely flat. There was one particular outfit that stuck out in my head; there were these awful high-waisted magenta pants with awkward pockets that stuck out everywhere and just didn't fit the model, and this jacket...thing...that was black and white patterned and had ruffles and I don't even know what happening on it. I think I threw up in my mouth a little when I saw that go down the runway. Rami's strengths definitely lie in his gown design; sure, he drapes all the damn time, but he does a great job of it. Some of his dresses I could actually wear, and would like to wear, but the rest of his clothes...no. Just...no.
Besides...I missed Chris.
Either way, I'm shocked that Christian won, shocked at the choice of guest judge, and shocked that Jillian didn't at least get second.
Oh, and I'm shocked that magenta high-waisted pants found their way anywhere near that finale.
P.S. Here's a fun interview with the fabulous Tim Gunn from the Chicago Tribune:
http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune.com/entertainment_tv/2008/03/project-runways.html
A post of a most Harry Potter nature
What is it, exactly, about J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series that seems to have ensnared millions upon millions of readers (myself most definitely included), making them stand in line for hours to receive a $22 hard-cover copy, at midnight, of the last installment of the series (myself again included)? It's a question still being asked since the series' release all the way back in 1997.
Well, perhaps our friends over at Moist Cupcake comedy group can help us understand a little better:
Clearly, it is not just myself who harbors some sort of freakish obsession with young Harry and his Hogwarts cohorts.
So, this begs the question of why, exactly, is this series so unbelievably addicting?
Personally, I have been hooked on HP since 6th grade when the second book, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, came out. It's difficult to explain what exactly drew me to the series; perhaps it was the realism of Rowling's characters, from the endearlingly doomed Harry to the loyal Ron to the brainy Hermione...or perhaps it was the tragic love triangle that was revealed in Deathly Hallows, between Lily Evans, James Potter, and Severus Snape. Maybe it was the realism with with Rowling presented her series, making children (and not-so-young people) desperately want to visti London so they could inspect for themselves whether or not Platform 9 3/4 in King's Cross really exists, or desperately search their mail on a daily basis to discern for themselves whether or not Dumbledore was going to send them their letter to Hogwarts (because if they didn't look themselves, it was a distinct possibility that their parents hated magic and would make every attempt to throw these letters out, a Dursleyish thing to do).
Then again, perhaps the masses became enamored with the series because of the ease with which one can parody it. For example, Saturday Night Live did a fantastic Harry Potter parody, casting Hermione as an extremely busty Lindsay Lohan, as well as Robot Chicken, which had the trio fighting the monster "Pubertus" (due to copyright infringement and such, I've been unable to find both of these videos, as they've been removed from the interwebs, but I can't say I didn't try!). Perhaps the most famous parody of Harry Potter, however, would probably be the "Potter Puppet Pals." An example can be seen here:
(credit to Neil Cicierega and co. for this brilliant material)
However, I think the ultimate reason why J.K. Rowling's idea (that was created upon napkins, by the way) has infected the masses is as such:The pages are laced with crack-cocaine.
Yes, I said it - the publishers at Scholastic in the United States and Bloomsbury in the United Kingdom sprinkle each page with an ever-so-slight amount of crack. However, with insanely long works such as Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire (734 pages, U.S.) and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (870 pages, U.S.) that amounts to quite a large amount of crack. Rowling, of course, planned it like such: the first few books had fewer amounts of pages, and therefore a lesser amount of crack. It was entry-level, just enough to get the reader hooked. However, once readers had gotten to the fourth and fifth books, the levels grew to a major-addict level, causing readers to wait insanely long lines and pre-order books months in advance in order to get their fix. Rowling started to taper the pages off in the sixth installment, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in order to truly build up for the last book in the series. This, of course, caused all of the strung-out crack addicts to do insane things to obtain their copies, which had a satisfactory amount of pages at 759 when it was finally released, counting that miserable hunk of words that she refers to as an "Epilogue," a.k.a. the "Nineteen Years Later" chapter. What is left to be seen is how said addicts will cope without their doses of new grams - er, books.
So, there you have it: reading the Potter books leads to crack addictions.
That is all.
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